Loosing Control

I was lying in bed this morning

and all of a sudden

I got this really sharp pain

right by my heart.

I felt like I was

getting stabbed in the chest.

It lasted for about fifteen seconds.

My thoughts were racing

and I was trying to breathe heavy

to get it to go away

and I thought I was going to die.

This is the part

where it applies

to every single one of you.

I've tried to take my life before,

I've wanted to die

so many times in my life,

but when I felt like something

was going to kill me

without my control,

all of those thoughts stopped. 

In my mind

I was begging I would be okay.

No matter how much

You hate the world,

No matter how much

You hate yourself,

there are answers

that are better than death.

Believe me.

There are people that love you.

I love you, for crying out loud.

There are people

who would be a wreck

if you were gone.

There is a reason

we are all on this earth,

I promise you,

even if you don't see it now.

If you're feeling alone,

know that the world

can be a lonely place

but it would be lonelier

without you in it. 

I know some people may decide not to believe these words coming from me, hell, even I'm having trouble with that. I still don't see the point in my life, but I've learned to accept that others need me here, so I mustn't be so selfish. The pain I may feel is unbearable, but doing that to others, in my eyes, is way worst.

Know if you ever need a helping hand or just need someone to talk to, I am here for you.

~Beck Jenkins 1(210)848-2468